Thursday, October 06, 2005

...on being enlightened. (Or at least feeling like it)

Last month has just been wearing down on me. So much so, that I even seriously considered buying a one-way plane ticket home to Boston and leaving all my belongings in Japan behind. First off, I've worked in IT for 7 years (as I've told all of my friends) and I wanted to go back into it. Unfortunately, I'm not qualified enough to really do anything other than being a helpdesk techie unless I go back to school and learn programming. Originally, I intended to go to Temple University in Tokyo as soon as my contract with my current employer expires to enroll into the IT certification program while working full time to support myself. Unfortunately, the IT program was shut down right before I was going to apply for the program. That situation really only left me with 2 options. 1. Just apply to any IT company in Osaka in the hopes of getting a helpdesk position; or 2. Go back to my alma mater and study for 1 year. The 2nd option seemed to be the best choice for me because while the IT job market in Osaka is ok, 99% of the positions required both high Japanese language fluency and programming skills. The bad thing is, my gf is currently going for her lawyer's license, which means she can't go to the states with me, resulting in being separated for 1 year and leading to breakup status. I didn't want to breakup at all and I intend to marry her sometime in the future. However, this also meant that my career would never grow to it's potential. I struggled with that situation in my mind for a good 2 weeks, along with increasingly frustrating arguments with my gf that had no peaceful resolution in sight. In fact, I had been averaging roughly 4.5 hours of sleep for 2 weeks and my motivation was gone. By the end, I found myself awake at 3:30am with only one thought in my mind: Go back home for good. Later that morning, I was in my high school feeling like an absolute wreck when it finally hit me. I'm not cut out to be an IT techie. I never was and I never will be. If IT really was my thing, I never would have struggled to find that kind of job in the first place. Then all of a sudden it hit me - I can still be involved in IT without actually being a tech. I decided that becoming an HR guy in the field of IT would be the best fit. People have said that I'm one of the easiest going guys, coupled along with experience in the field and having good instincts in reading people - it all made sense! So, as my next career move, I'm aiming to become an HR guy in the tech field. Since coming up with that decision, I've been excited and nothing really seems to bother me much anymore. (Even being late to my elementary school in Ashiya didn't bother me much.) Anyways, sorry for such a long rambling journal entry. Hopefully this answers the "what's wrong with Jason?" questions. By the way, me and my gf are doing well again.

Comments:
Glad you figured things out- good luck on getting that job.
 
Thanks man! I'll let you know how it all turns out.
 
Ditto what Adam said. By the way, if you do leave soon, you will be missed.
 
Thanks Herm! If it does happen soon, I'll give plenty of notice. The one thing that kills me is that I'm going to end up screwing the department.
 
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